30 - Candy Basket

By Kay Heitsch

After getting acquainted with the staff at the group home, I learned that the tutor had a clown ministry, where she would visit a nursing home and pass out candy. Occasionally, she would take some of the girls from the group home with her.

When I learned she was going to need to stop going to the nursing home, I decided, for some unknown reason, I would pick up where she left off. However, I did not wear the clown outfit.

I drove over to the grocery store and bought several different candies, including sugar-free ones, from one of those Brocks displays. I found a basket at home and put the candy inside.

On a Thursday night, Brandon and I drove over to the nursing home with the candy basket. On occasion, I would take some of the girls from the group home with us. We would walk around to each room and let the residents choose the candy they liked. Most of the residents were happy to see us, even if they didn't want any candy.

I noticed when the group home girls came along, they loved these residents, and the residents loved them too. There was no judgment between any of them.

I continued to go to this nursing home on Thursday night for several years. I have written many stories about my experiences there.

I look back now and can see that God was helping me adjust to Todd's death by helping others. Even if it was only a small gesture, like offering a piece of candy or giving a small hug.

Write It Out

 Kay Heitsch

Write your plans in pencil and give God the pen. ~ Write It Down Quotes ~

Long before I had any grandchildren, I started to write out the incredible stories of how God was bringing good out of Todd's death.

What I find interesting is that I actually wrote in my Bible that these stories were for my grandchildren, which I didn't have at the time.

Our Bible verse says. Write the vision and make it plain. Habakka 2:2

I am sure I did not know this Bible verse when I wrote out my vision. But now look what's happened. I have 5 grandchildren. God is great!

Write your plans in pencil and give God the pen.

29 - Group Home

By Kay Heitsch

As the days went by, I found myself doing things that surprised me.

One afternoon, I decided to visit a girls' group home. I don't know how I found out where it was, but there I was knocking on this big white door.

A large woman opened the door. She gave me a once-over look and, in a gruff voice, asked who I had come to visit.

I smiled and introduced myself, saying I didn't know anyone there, but I wanted to visit with all the girls.

I had a heart for these girls. I knew something must have happened in their past for them to be there. I could relate.

Brandon and I started to go to this group home once a week. The girls loved Brandon. They also enjoyed baking cakes and other treats to show me.

One day, their tutor asked to talk to me privately. I was wondering if I had done something wrong.

I was surprised when this sweet lady told me the girls had told her that I was a Christian. When she asked if I had told them that, they said, "No." So she asked how they knew. They said, "Because Ms. Kay loves us."

Once again, God was bringing something positive out of Todd's death.

Whatever You Do

By Kay Heitsch

Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ~ Inspirational Quotes ~

Whatever we do that is worthwhile, we can know it is Christ working through us. When we have this understanding, it's not too hard to give all the glory to God.

Our Bible Verse is a favorite of mine. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

When Christ is working through us, we can do anything He has called us to do.

Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

28 - Cross Country Team

By Kay Heitsch

Not only did Dom, Susan, and Evy come over, but also Andrew and people from the Cross Country Team, whom Todd had been a part of.

I was so excited about the books that had helped me, I wanted to share them with others. I started to buy booklets by Dr. Peale.

When I learned the team's coach had quit and they were training on their own, I ordered a condensed edition of the book, "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman V. Peale, for each member of the team. Inside, I wrote, "Believe! In Memory of Todd."

Later, I was told that the CC team had dedicated their season to Todd. I am thrilled to report that both the boys' and girls' teams advanced all the way to the State Meet.

I was seeing that God was bringing good out of Todd's death.

What We Can't Do

By Kay Heitsch

What we cannot go through on our own, God will help us fly over. ~ You Can Do It With God's Help Quotes ~

Dr. Peale used to say, Rise above the storm and find the sunshine. Then he would say, Rise above it! Rise above it! Just hearing these words gave me motivation to keep moving forward with God's help.

Our Bible verse says. For nothing will be impossible with God.”Luke 1:37 ESV

That's right. Nothing is impossible with God! When we live in a personal relationship with God nothing is impossible. I believe this with all my heart!

What we cannot go through on our own, God will help us fly over.

27 - Colored Pencils

By Kay Heitsch

When I was typing the tips from Dr. Peale's books for Todd, I did my best to try to skip over any Bible verse Dr. Peale used. I had no use for religion.

I found it fascinating to read, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," Philippians 4:13 at the bottom of each page after Todd died.

Now, I didn't understand what seemed to be motivating and giving me this desire to study the Bible. This was not like me.

Dr. Peale mentioned using colored pencils and highlighting any verse that stood out. I bought a box of colored pencils and started using them.

I found that what was standing out at first were verses about not being afraid and not worrying. I was a big worrier. God knew exactly what I needed.

Interesting that years later, I sat in a Sunday School class and a woman called me out for writing in my Bible. Little did she know.

I was seeing and understanding that things that were drilled in my head by some religious belief were not correct at all. The more I studied, the more freedom I had.

Bill was still drinking, and before he fell asleep in his chair, I would jump out of bed excited when I would find something wonderful in the Bible and share it with him.

However, I still hadn't found any verses about where Todd was, but I was learning so much.

God Has A Plan

By Kay Heitsch

God knows what's best for you. He knows where you are going and He has a plan to get you there. ~ Encouraging Quotes ~

When we truly believe God knows what's best for us and He has a plan to get us where we need to be, we can relax.

For years, people have encouraged me to write a book. I would always say, "I have no idea how to write a book." I also knew if God wanted me to write a book, He would give me the desire and inspiration to start. Who knows, maybe my "Grief Experiences" will turn into a book. The name should be changed, but we will wait and see.

Our Bible verse says. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

God has a plan, I have no doubt about that. I know His plans for each of us are for our good and to give us hope and a future.

God knows what's best for you. He knows where you are going and He has a plan to get you there.

26 - Behavior Change

By Kay Heitsch

After seeing Todd's body in the casket, I was convinced he was not there. But where was he? My Aunt Carmeleta tried to tell me he was there, but it was obvious Todd was gone.

I drove out to the accident site a few times. I'd sit and think, "This is where Todd left his body."

When I bought this paperback Bible, I would hold it to my face and say. "Please teach me what I need to learn and unlearn." I don't remember if I asked about Todd, but somehow I knew God understood.

I got up each morning at 4:00 am and studied until the kids got up. I'd go to bed at night and be studying again.

You have to know I never liked to study. It was strange enough that I was reading Dr. Peale's books from the library, but now I was reading the Bible.

I couldn't understand this total change in my behavior. I was learning so much.

But I was still on a mission to find out where Todd was.

God Is Our Father

By Kay Heitsch

God is our everlasting Father, the one who will never leave. ~ God Is Our Father Quotes

No matter what your relationship has ever been to your earthly Father, you can always know that you have a heavenly Father who loves you and will never leave.

Our Bible verse says. And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18

Just think how awesome this is! The LORD Almighty is our Father. We are loved by a Father who will never leave us.

God is our everlasting Father, the one who will never leave.

25 - Typing Tips

By Kay Heitsch

As I said before, I had been reading books by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale before Todd died. Actually, I did not know he was a Christian minister.

I thought Dr. Peale might be a psychologist. I was searching for something to fill the void in my life.

Dr. Peale wrote about people who had a life I wanted. He gave tips at the end of some chapters that you could put into practice.

After my dad died, also on February 6th, I had a feeling like I was going to die. I started typing out tips from these books for Todd. I figured he could teach them to Shannon and Brandon when I was dead.

Little did I know these tips were going to be for me.

I also bought a little "Have A Great Day" daily devotional book by Dr. Peale. I put it on the counter in the kitchen. Todd read the day's devotional every morning. He had a journal where I found several quotes from this book.

Dr. Peale was for the unchurched, so he used Bible verses in a way that showed the Bible as a means to help people, like me, become interested in it.

After Todd died, I went out and bought a Good News Bible TEV. I spent hours studying this Bible. I had a lot to learn and unlearn.

My biggest question was, Where is Todd?

Where Do You Put Your Trust?

By Kay Heitsch

Always put your trust in God. ~ Faith & Trust Quotes ~

It's interesting how putting our trust in God can help us live our lives more positively. We don't have to worry or try to figure everything out. It's not always easy to do, but it certainly helps.

Our Bible verse says. I trust in God and am not afraid; I praise him for what he has promised. What can a mere human being do to me? Psalm 56:4 GNT

There we have it. Put your trust in God and do not be afraid! I love it!

Always put your trust in God!

24 - Cleared Vision

By Kay Heitsch

Life was going on, and Brandon and I made another trip to the grocery store.

As strange as it seemed, I was beginning to see life in a totally different way than I had before. I was usually in a big hurry. But now things were different. My vision was clear on what was really important in life.

As I was walking down one of the aisles in the grocery store, I noticed an older man. He was looking around, like he was lost. I walked over to him and asked if he needed help. He told me his wife had died, and this was the first time he had gone to the grocery store without her. I offered my condolences and assisted him in finding what he was looking for.

What was odd is that before Todd died, I don't think I would have even noticed this man and his sad look in his eyes.

I understand now that God was using Todd's death to clear my vision of what was important in life.

Isn't Understandable

By Kay Heitsch

Just because God's path isn't understandable doesn't mean it's not the right path. ~ Choose God's Way Quotes ~

I can totally relate to this quote. I have often wondered why I knew I needed to do something that was not immediately understandable. Later, I found out it was the right way to go.

I have written stories about "Bury the Bird" and "The Corn Stand," for instance. They both seemed weird, and I didn't understand why I was doing either, but I found out why later.

Even right now. I don't know why I'm writing "Grief Experiences," but I know it's what I'm supposed to be doing. I'll find out later.

Our Bible verse says. The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8 NLT

God will guide, advise, and watch over us as we live in a personal relationship with Him.

Just because God's path isn't understandable doesn't mean it's not the right path.

23 - Dead In Box

By Kay Heitsch

This may sound very strange to some, but I took a picture of Todd in the casket. I don't know if I was trying to come to grips with the reality that Todd was dead or what.

Brandon, who was under 3 years old, was still missing Todd. I had not taken him to the funeral home. When I look back, I should have taken him. A friend volunteered to watch Brandon, and I accepted their offer. It seemed right at the time.

I developed the pictures and showed Brandon the picture of Todd in the casket. I told him Todd had died and he wasn't coming home. It broke my heart.

Every day, Brandon would take out the photo album. He would open the album and say, "Todd dead in the box." He would then flip the album pages over and look at pictures of Todd and himself together, and give me a smile.

Brandon flipped the pages of this album so often that he ripped the plastic pages.

We were all trying to adjust to Todd not coming home.

Strength & Peace

By Kay Heitsch

Strength and Peace ~ Encouragement Quotes ~

I don't know what else we could want, except for strength and peace. No matter what life throws at us, if we have strength and peace, we can keep moving forward.

Our Bible verse says. The LORD gives His people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace. Psalm 29:11 NLT

When we live in a personal relationship with the LORD, He gives us strength and blesses us with peace no matter what life brings. What a way to live!

Strength and peace. What more would we want?